$8 a signature is a bargain for our shareholders

The Seattle P-I reports today with disdain that the plastic industry spent nearly $200,000 collecting signatures against the fascist/communist/terrorist 20 cent bag tax. By their calculations, that works out to more than $8 a signature.

But what’s the problem here? The bag tax is an assault on our very livelihood in the plastic bag industry. (And don’t forget about the impact on bag ladies, bag-of-bag makers, kitty-cats, and ocean life.),

Making more plastic bags is what we do, so of course we’ll spend the money doing whatever it takes to make sure we make more plastic bags. And besides, $200,000 is nothing to us. We’re big corporations concerned about maximizing our profits, not grassroots hippies worried about showing affection to neighborhood trees.

Our interests are clear: making more plastic bags. And we’ll do whatever is necessary to make sure nothing stands in the way of that goal. Anything less would violate our fiduciary responsibility to our shareholders, not to mention the very moral structure of capitalism. And that has to come first.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Elgee on October 11, 2008 at 5:13 am

    Where can I send my tax deductable donation to Exxon/Mobile? You are a 501c3, aren’t you? It just makes my American blood spout up like a new flag from Walmart when I read the plain-talking truth from PBMforMPB about the moral mandate of corporations to maximize profits. I love capitalism, and I love profit as much as the next guy, which is why I’m just fine with sending the next guy’s son to Iraq so that corporations like Bechtel and Carlyle can have fatty contracts with the government making $26 a plate on mess hall food, put another plate on top to keep your lunch warm and you just made an American corporation $52 right there! You gotta love capitalism.

    I would like to thank Exxon/Mobile, Dow Chemical and DuPont for standing up for the preservation and protection of the wild flow of money into the secret bank accounts of the megamega rich. This is true conservation, and that’s why I’m voting for Paul Sutherland for Public Lands Commissioner. He is owned by Weyerhauser ($500,000 so far in campaign contributions this year), and he will work his most lucrative to make sure that we will preseve the great stump forests of the Pacific Northwest. His competitor, Peter Goldmark, a tree hugging liberal will destroy every McMansion view in the state with trees grown wild. And please, vote for any public official owned by an American company. It’s the patriotic thing to do. Bless you, PBMforMPB!


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